Its been awhile
I'm feeling rather tired and was going to hit the sack, but decided to make an entry here before sleeping. Got one more paper on friday, had a hattrick of papers last week. Haven't really gotten down to seriously preparing for the next paper, typical complacent me. The last three were marked by frantic last-minute studying - well not exactly frantic - but of a rather pressing nature, shall we say. I've grown sick of wondering how much better i'd be doing in school if I actually had the bloody discipline to do things when they're supposed to be done. Not only now in uni, but from earlier in secondary school upwards. What my life would've been like if I'd pursued a certain interest or sport more daringly, if i'd gone to a different school, if i'd met different people, or if my parents had understood me and given me that extra push. An alternate life I'll never know; wishful and wasteful thinking, but hard to not ponder nevertheless, given I am inevitably a product of my life experiences and my environment.
I know its a sin to take what one has for granted, but when I look at myself and my life, there are aspects of my life I would change. Then again, ask anyone and they'd probably feel the same way. When I see the things - notably people - around me, I can't help but feel there's something wrong with the world. I've actually not seen or learnt enough of the world to make that comment, but I do feel that way sometimes about the society I live in. There is something very wrong with this country, just ask the ignorant, materialistic, self-centred, apathetic people in it. Some will know but will not care to do anything about it. Some won't even know it. This island is dangerously imbalanced. Such high levels of so-called economic, technological and infrastructural development coupled with pathetically low levels of cultural, intellectual, political and civic awareness.
Just look at the standard of English. An undergraduate from a supposedly top 20 university worldwide cannot string together a proper sentence of English, and its alright not to be able to do so. Preposterous. I'll lose friends if I give names here. I blame the education system and the student himself. Do I think I deserve more credit for my language and content competency? Yes! Do I think the moron who has an inadequate grasp of language and poor articulation of ideas should get a lower grade than me? Yes!
Watched a discussion session on the GST increase in a local news channel the other day, comprising a supposedly qualified panel. The Minister in the panel was using economic jargon no ordinary person could meaningfully understand and the rest of the panel were like parrots, repeating the same bloody point throughout the thankfully only half hour show. Watch television for an hour or so, and all you will see are programmes and commercials catered to the upper strata of society. Such content wouldn't even be relevant to most people, who probably wouldn't even be home because they're out working to make ends meet. Do I find all this rather pretentious? Yes. But alas, these are just the flaws of a global capitalist economy.
When I see the behavior of people around me, I'm disappointed. I have to strain and look for pockets of behavior that reaffirm my faith in them. I am a strongly critical person, but one who is a product of his environment. Personally, I've paid the price for my frankness and honesty towards what I thought was wrong. My efforts to be true to my ideals and to the people around me have backfired. I've been cheaply silenced by what John Stuart Mills called the 'Tyranny of the Majority'. The fact that only I will fully understand this entry is testament to all I have said. And the fact that I have to be so vague in all I say is proof of the self-censorship I have to practice in my life for risk of being misunderstood and faulted.
"Could you feel the breeze of fear.
On all the cynics, I'm ya mimic.
All you losers, all abusers
Wasting all my precious energy"
Ian Brown & Noel Gallagher - Keep what ya got
I know its a sin to take what one has for granted, but when I look at myself and my life, there are aspects of my life I would change. Then again, ask anyone and they'd probably feel the same way. When I see the things - notably people - around me, I can't help but feel there's something wrong with the world. I've actually not seen or learnt enough of the world to make that comment, but I do feel that way sometimes about the society I live in. There is something very wrong with this country, just ask the ignorant, materialistic, self-centred, apathetic people in it. Some will know but will not care to do anything about it. Some won't even know it. This island is dangerously imbalanced. Such high levels of so-called economic, technological and infrastructural development coupled with pathetically low levels of cultural, intellectual, political and civic awareness.
Just look at the standard of English. An undergraduate from a supposedly top 20 university worldwide cannot string together a proper sentence of English, and its alright not to be able to do so. Preposterous. I'll lose friends if I give names here. I blame the education system and the student himself. Do I think I deserve more credit for my language and content competency? Yes! Do I think the moron who has an inadequate grasp of language and poor articulation of ideas should get a lower grade than me? Yes!
Watched a discussion session on the GST increase in a local news channel the other day, comprising a supposedly qualified panel. The Minister in the panel was using economic jargon no ordinary person could meaningfully understand and the rest of the panel were like parrots, repeating the same bloody point throughout the thankfully only half hour show. Watch television for an hour or so, and all you will see are programmes and commercials catered to the upper strata of society. Such content wouldn't even be relevant to most people, who probably wouldn't even be home because they're out working to make ends meet. Do I find all this rather pretentious? Yes. But alas, these are just the flaws of a global capitalist economy.
When I see the behavior of people around me, I'm disappointed. I have to strain and look for pockets of behavior that reaffirm my faith in them. I am a strongly critical person, but one who is a product of his environment. Personally, I've paid the price for my frankness and honesty towards what I thought was wrong. My efforts to be true to my ideals and to the people around me have backfired. I've been cheaply silenced by what John Stuart Mills called the 'Tyranny of the Majority'. The fact that only I will fully understand this entry is testament to all I have said. And the fact that I have to be so vague in all I say is proof of the self-censorship I have to practice in my life for risk of being misunderstood and faulted.
"Could you feel the breeze of fear.
On all the cynics, I'm ya mimic.
All you losers, all abusers
Wasting all my precious energy"
Ian Brown & Noel Gallagher - Keep what ya got
posted by agent "nandha" smith at 12:29 AM
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