When a song comes back to Haunt me

I have to admit I started pretty late when it came to really listening to music.I just didn't see the need to listen in my primary school days.I only adored Michael Jackson, and that was more for his dance moves.Entered secondary school, the Pop music craze didn't spare me. Not that i was interested in it, i just checked it out to find out what all the people around me were talking about.Pop music was over-rated i deduced, I knew there was more out there, but how do i go about finding it?

Then, in Sec3, i met Ang Heng (real name's Junjie but i never call him that). His influence changed my life.
A gifted musician (angheng's a better guitarist than alot of thrash out there), Ang Heng had a discerning taste in music. He knew good music. And more importantly, he brought Rock music into my life. And the rest as they say, is History.

I fondly remember Nirvana, Limp Bizkit and Metallica as a few of my initial interests. My complementary interest in HipHop was schooled by listening to the likes of the Beastie Boys. One by one, I unearthed musical treasures -Rage Against The Machine, FatBoySlim, Red Hot Chili Peppers,Incubus,Aerosmith,Oasis,Dr Dre,Jay-Z.. I could go on and on. Gradually, i developed my own discerning taste in music. I may have started rather late, and i may not play any instrument (yet), but i had found something which i know will last me the rest of my life.

And along the way, i discovered Creed. Their brand of Rock was rather unique. It was solid rock stuff; the virtuoso-esque guitarist Mark Tremonti paired with the heavy and almost gruff vocals of Scott Stapp. Creed really struck a chord in me cos they carried a spiritual element in their music. Some labelled it Christian music, but really, the religion of their music was secular.Creed became my favorite band, "My Sacrifice" my favorite song. Sadly, they disbanded awhile back, but that's kinda part of the music scene.

One of the main reasons i like the music i listen to so much is that it allows me to attach a certain feeling or memory to a certain song or band, like many i figure.But memories and feelings do change ( for better or worse), and i gradually had to let go of Creed. I just couldn't listen to it anymore. But sometimes a song comes back to haunt you. And that is what happened to me last night as i lay on my bed, unable to sleep.

The song's called "Weathered". And what's haunting is that it came to me out of nowhere, and almost every line freaking accurately describes how i feel now .I swear. I never saw the song this way back then, but its somehow - coincidentally or by some Unexplained Will - clawed its way back to me.

"Weathered" - Creed
"I lie awake on a long, dark night
I can't seem to tame my mind
Slings and arrows are killing me inside
Maybe I can't accept the life that's mine
No I can't accept the life that's mine
Simple living is my desperate cry
Been trading life with indifference yeah it suits me just fine
I try to hold on but I'm calloused to the bone

Maybe that's why I fell alone
Maybe that's why I feel alone

Me..I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal

The sun shines and I can't avoid the light
I think I'm holding on to life too tight
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust

Sometimes I feel like giving up
Sometimes I feel like giving up

Me...I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal

The day reminds me of you
The night hides your truth
The earth is a voice
Speaking to you
Take all this pride
And leave it behind
Because one day it ends
One day we die
Believe what you will
That is your right
But I choose to fight
So I choose to fight
To fight"
-----***-----
I'm only undecided if the last three lines apply to me.

"Fuck all that is 'good' in this world
Fuck all that is 'bad' in this world
Dare I seek the Stillness of the Center?"
- Nandha